American Gladiators? No thanks. American Gladiators - With the STARS? Hell yes!!
By Justin “Dr. Love” Stiles
Love of Sports Correspondent
Sunny, Blaze, Malibu, Storm, Thunder, Sky, Zap, Havoc and Siren.
These all could be one word descriptions of the Southern California fires or the earthquakes this area suffers (pick whichever one you like).
But not in this case.
Although many could argue that individually they bring chaos to those who challenge them, like a natural disaster, the American Gladiators of the 1990s are sure to leave a more impressive taste in our mouth than the ones we’ll be seeing in January.
Yes, NBC is showing the world, without much warning, the NEW American Gladiators, hosted by Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali.
Watch out for these new supposedly intimidating Gladiators: Wolf, Justice, Tor, Militia and Mayhem.
They’re calling it, “The Biggest Action Show of the 21st Century.”
January 6 at 8pm EST, your home will be transfixed with the Gladiator Arena!
I’m sorry, I have to stop for a second.
This is a dumb idea.
The original American Gladiators was shown on Saturday morning. The new one’s going to be on Sundays, originally, then moved to Mondays at 8pm.
Primetime? Really?
If this is the preliminary sign of what’s to come with the writers strike, I can only imagine the rest of the reality shows networks are throwing together with little or no thought to just how to fill their empty spaces in their nightly broadcast schedule.
Hey NBC, why not think outside the box a little?
Let’s break this down a bit here. Who was watching American Gladiators on a Saturday morning back in the ‘90s? Teenagers, that’s who.
As an adult now, I know that’s something I wouldn’t be watching if it was on, or if I was even awake that early. Everyone I talk to about the show is around my age, 29ish, and was in junior high when the show was on.
These are the people that remember the names Nitro, Turbo, Viper, Atlas and Gemini. Events like the Joust, Breakthrough and Conquer, Hang Tough, The Gauntlet and, of course, The Eliminator are things people between the ages of 25-35 are familiar with.
NBC claims they’ve improved the events and have better Gladiators. They say the biggest will be the “day in the life” of the contestant segments. Apparently we need to get to know them or relate to them more.
Oh man, that’s brilliant!
NOT!!!
Are the NBC executives on strike, too?
OK, let me get this straight …. Now this show is good enough to show during primetime, and it’s better because you send a camera crew to the contestant’s home?
Hmm.
Who says that’s an improvement from the previous version? You owe it to the advertisers who’re now being forced to pay for less appealing TV, to develop your shows more. Hire me.
Here’s my idea: American Gladiators … With the Stars!!
It’s new and improved. Not only will it appeal to 11-16 year olds, but adults are now going to be interested in seeing this show too.
Imagine Mario Lopez getting drilled in the face with a joust from a 6-foot-8, 290-pound man named Justice. I’d pay to see that!
How about Kevin Federline-Spears getting pulled down from the Hang Time monkey bars by a long haired bearded mass of muscle named Wolf!
Who doesn’t want to see Kathy Griffin get drilled in the head by a tennis ball shot from a cannon by a large woman named Hellga after being beaten down and nursing a bloody nose from a round of Power Ball? Are you telling me you wouldn’t want to see that?!
Who wants to watch people dancing twice a week? Nobody I know. But if you add B-List celebrities to the mix … BAM!!! You have a hit reality show.
I know if I was a B-List celebrity, I’d be first in line to sign up for the show. How fun would that be?!
When I was 14, I dreamed of the day I would be old enough to compete on the show, so this would be a dream come true.
Maybe you’re saying, “Dr. Love, you should stop writing for The Love of Sports and start your career as a network consultant or show creator.”
Well, my answer to you is, “I know.”
The only thing is, I really love this gig. Of course, if you know somebody at NBC, I’ll be happy to listen to offers.
After all, I’m not Les Miles and this website is certainly not LSU.
Comments
McLovin on 12/14 at 02:27 AM
In its defense, it is already better than the original, by the mere fact that they upgraded from Joe Theismann to Hulk Hogan. Who can fake excitement any better than a pro wrestler?
Erick on 12/14 at 03:38 AM
Before basic cable decided to rip my heart out (ie take away my ESPN classic), I would watch old re-runs of American Gladiators at 4 in the morning and reminisce about, as you said, being 12 and relishing in the simpler days of ‘Atlasphere’ and men calling themselves “Malibu.” I am excited about the return of this show--you complain of the writer’s strike, but are you really going to claim that “Grey’s Anatomy” is a better watch than an athletic competition?
noneya on 04/30 at 05:15 PM
old ag was cool, new ag sucks. it is one of the better shows on tv today, no doubt but that’s more of a reflection on tv in general these days. i watch only when Crush is on. then i’m done.
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